I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
