loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
