Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
