kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I had to cum in my sink.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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