Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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