i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize