I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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