I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
