he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
