In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
