Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
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