whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
