Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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