my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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