when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Let's get the cat blown out
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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