Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Randomize
