My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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