i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
