idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
