I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Just cropdusted the office
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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