Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
