yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
