Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
