you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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