What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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