OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
