I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
