did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
