we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
