he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
