I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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