You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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