would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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