She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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