Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Randomize
