Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
