so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
