just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize