Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
