**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
