If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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