I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Me too!
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
