Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Boobs are out for the taking
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
