i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
