Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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