Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I think my vagina is haunted
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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