just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
