I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
