the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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