i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
