I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
