I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
