The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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