going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Randomize
