he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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