Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
