I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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