Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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