I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
