just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I need to sanitize my soul.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
