when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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