And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Of course I have a pirate flag
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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