ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
