Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
